Kelis Lays Her Milkshake On a Bit Too Thick

It's udderly nice to see all you beautiful blog lovers, likers, appreciators, and tolerators today. Let's hear it for Cow Appreciation Day!! Cows are a vital part of the dairy industry. Without them we couldn't enjoy the sublime pleasure of a fresh whipped milkshake. In 2003 Harlem, New York's Kelis put her own highly sexual spin on this drinkable delight. Let's clear the air right now. In Kelis' case the subjects on the table, absolutely no drop of Mac truck subtlety spared, are the boulders tucked away in her over the shoulder boulder holder. She certainly "puts them out there" so to speak. Over and over again she proves she can brag about her goody bags in much the same way that the male rappers brag about how many pictures of dead presidents they have in their wallets. Her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. Insert images of boys in the hood, tongues rolled out of their heads onto the floor. To the marrieds out there you might want to exercise some restraint. Tasty but not that tasty, right? She's quick to point out how much better her milkshake is in comparison to the other fly girls. Again, where's the modesty? It's probably trying hard to peer down her dress. Kelis is quick to add: "It's what the guys go crazy for." Kind of like laying on four coats of the same paint rather than saying, "Self, there's enough color to this wall. We don't need to empty out the entire bucket with one fell swoop. The backing groove is pure Cleopatra temptress focused straight at the groin area. Some buzzing synth mating dancing along with a knock knock sort of back beat. The level of nastiness to that scene only gets lower the longer the song goes. But fear not. Once Kelis stops beating us over the head with how great her dairy cases are she actually finds time to educate. First and foremost people, according to her, these techniques that freak these boys can't be bought. Fair enough. If a woman's not endowed with the choice cuts then how unfortunate. She's not going to be doing much mattress tag before the night is over. Note to thieves. You will get caught. Don't just take without asking. Overall "Milkshake" leaves too much of a thick taste in my mouth. Kelis never strays far from bragging about her feminine superiority. An actual milkshake would've gone down easier. Were it not trying so hard to reach my erogenous zone I'd cut it some slack. As is Kelis needs to stop waving those things in my face. She's not strong arming afterglow out of me.