Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars Co-conspire To Create Uptown Ecstasy

George Clinton, please don't be mad that soul brothers Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars made flesh a game plan you wish you had wrote. The twosome's "Uptown Funk" smokes the joint Towering Inferno style. Tell me something...is Bruno out to get to legend status even faster than Justin Timberlake? Between "Locked Out of Heaven" and "When I Was Your Man" he's shown himself on the fast track to career longevity. Nobody's confusing "Uptown Funk" with "Sexy Back" but Bruno knows his way around a slithering funk playbook. So much of what comes through in this performance basks in gussied up to the nines strolling down the uptown district, looking really pleased with yourself and the gang surrounding you. I'm certain we're in 2014 but the throwdown tempo of the song has me thinking I done gone and stepped into a time machine and landed back in 1974. Mister Shaft himself Isaac Hayes would be pleased as punch with the horn section. How you could shun dancing to this revelatory brass barnstorm job puzzles me. You couldn't have an adequate party buzz in action if your drums weren't equal to the task. So it goes here. No half-assed displays. When we arrive already sweating to the nth degree at "Don't believe me just watch" those drums act like they're backing icon Stevie Wonder. As much bounce as you can handle, there it is to be swallowed in all its amphetamine laced glory. There's a linguist's feast at work on the lyric side. I don't believe in the history of recorded music will any of us above ground dwellers ever hear "I'm too hot. Make a dragon wanna retire." For one, I didn't think dragons had financial interests to look out for, That sort of headache is usually the problem of the dragon's victim. You've also got to call in the police and the fireman with Bruno on the case. Everywhere you turn you've got "Doh doh doh doh doh doh doh doh." Hence my reference to George Clinton. Doesn't this make you shiver at the recollection of "Atomic Dog" You know? "Bow wow wow, yippy yo yippy ay?" You millennials are likely looking at these words as if the guy who composed them is short a few cards. Good for you. Shows you're paying attention. Anyway, there's much to be say for 40-proof funk that doesn't mind shaking its booty in your face and acting like it's the only jam that matters. I don't suppose Michelle Pfeiffer's hit career doldrums lately. True or not Bruno does the "Fabulous Baker Boys" starlet a solid by bringing her hat into his tight blue jeans ring. There's not a sour note to be hit. If you're worn down by Ebola, ISIS, immigration, or the very real possibility that Bill Cosby flushed his legacy down the crapper, "Uptown Funk" grants you permission to feel all's right with the world again. If, after lo these many years you still want the funk Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars have the perfect tonic to set you right from head to foot.