Being Drunk The Only Way To Swallow New Beyonce

There are a few things in the music world you can be sure of these days. First of all, Beyonce should be on her way to running the world by the end of the next decade. Second of all, we've known from early in her solo career that Beyonce songs are production numbers, not little dashed off songs that are as disposable as the paper plate you just ate last night's leftovers off of. I'm scratching my head following a go around with "Drunk In Love" which teams our heroine back up with Jay-Z with whom she sang "Deja Vu". She certainly has her carnal lust ethos working here. Lots of rim thumping beats in play. The usual galaxy of techno programmed keyboard effects. Beyonce belts out the chorus "We be all night, in love, in love". with the authority of an Amazon woman holding court over her subjects. No dis coming from the Ear Buzz camp surrounding her ability to get her audience sufficiently aroused. Insert Tarzan/Jane loincloths here. What's troubling is in the end "Drunk In Love" amounts to all blow and no show. Beyonce lovers feel free to boo, hiss, or both at the mention of even the slightest disparaging remark towards one of this century's reigning chart queens. I didn't find "Didn't mean to spill that liquor all on my attire". all that appealing. In fact tastelessly slutty would be a better description. Was "Can't keep your eyes off my fatty" necessary?" I realize as a red-blooded American male that image is supposed to make my tongue come sliding out of my head like something out of an old Looney Tunes cartoon. In fact it makes me want to take a shower to wash off the icky sensations I'm getting. All the same I do give Jay-Z two points for not rapping "bush" as part of his contribution to these proceedings. Your grandma would surely blush. Not that Jay-Z is church choir pure either. Need some proof? Why not consider: "We sex again in the morning, your breastetests is my breakfast. Oh goody. Makes my Cheerios breakfast sound ultra conservative. And who really needed a music history rewind to Ike Turner, wife beater. The justice is Anna Mae Bullock, Tina Turner to you and I, certainly has outlived him in every way that it counts. "Foreplay in a foyer?" "Fucked up my Warhol?" Was he attempting to line rhyme foyer with Warhol? (Deep cleansing breaths. Deep cleansing breaths.) The two of them can throw in whatever methods of tonsil hockey they want and litter the landscape with as much pop culture history as they want. It doesn't cover up the fact that the production is more massive than the song itself. "Single Ladies" had sass. "Irreplaceable" laid down the law. This is Rihanna-level smutty. True, both woman have a long list of chart hits but that doesn't mean going for the lowbrow shock and awe response is beneath them. For someone with the global entertainment influence of Beyonce, "Drunk In Love" represents what to my way of thinking is her first career step backwards. Make no mistake, Beyonce is the type of girl who could easily have nine lives in this business. Besides which hip hop is chock full of singles that pass themselves off as larger than life when in fact they're no more imposing than the frail old man behind the curtain in The Wizard of Oz". It's as if the top stars of today are all overcompensating for something. Maybe it's actual profundity. Maybe it's the constant masculinity check. Who can say. I don't have nearly enough time to do a psychological inventory on them. Long story short, "Drunk In Love" might be best digested after a nice concentrated shot of whisky because it's quite jarring without alcoholic additives. I'm pretty sure her core faithful will be all over this and the eventual "Beyonce" album like the proverbial white on rice. However, to my way of thinking the woman who time after time has brought sizzle to the charts has brought us a song that's a little burnt to a crisp. She would be best advised to show instead of tell.