Glass Animals Leave Us Lost In Their Gooey Mess

What is it? Oxford's Glass Animals leave me that nagging question upon listening to "Gooey". Do any of you out there (I could likely count the answer on one hand) remember the NutraSweet commercial that told us the best way to tell you what NutraSweet is is to tell you what it isn't? For my money the best way to tell what "Gooey" is would be to tell you what I think it isn't. It's isn't a guitar enthusiast's masterpiece. Too much of a delicate soft peddle going on. It isn't going to satiate your cravings for drumming that should be illegal in developed countries. It isn't going to appeal to young mens' masturbatory fantasies either although the video might be capable of proving me wrong. A little too TMI for my liking but that's one carbon based life form's opinion. There are others equally valid. I'll cut right to the chase in my assessment. "Gooey" presents itself to me like upper crust wallpaper. There's really nothing that's going to leave me eager for a follow up after I've left the keyboard. "Peanut butter vibes" described the entire gist of "Gooey" splendidly. Not sure what they are? Given the lyric follows hot on the heels of "...you just gonna cry" I imagine thick snot weeping figures in prominently. Don't quote me. It's a thought. "Gooey" merely leaves in its a wake the mess regarding how to categorize it. Glass Animals hangs its collective shingle out as an indie rock band. Based on this one song I'm tempted to shoehorn them into the art pop category. Dave Bayley has a feather light vocal touch which adds to the artistry but doesn't put any meat on the bones. It isn't electronica. There are too many ingredients stirring this soup around. Joe Seaward claims the drum title but its processed pounding at best, blends into the background without so much as a whimper of begged for acknowledgement. Drew McFarlane apparently plays lead guitar. I'm confused. Where's something resembling a guitar here? Must have been so quiet I could hear the proverbial pin drop at the back of the room. How about Edmund Irwin-Singer? He plays bass but it's MIA. Really, I'm not going out of my way to fake stupidity? My brand's USDA certified when it's out there. I honestly can't sniff out guitars. This entire enterprise levitates in the air with the occasional synth amplified mysterious stranger cuteness reminding us these are serious artists poised to set our perspectives askew. Early on keyboards glide into frame. Come on guys. Level with me. Is Merlin back there wielding a wand that makes these baby soft sounds come out? It is nice to hear Glass Animals give Winnie the Pooh continued minutes in the spotlight. Of course given the small piece of fluff in his air I question whether the honey loving golden ball of sweetness could even tell he was being recognized. All the same, Pooh's a gentle soul, and gentle souls need to be remembered whenever possible. I don't think I'd want these guys lingering in my neighborhood since they coined words like "Fresh out of an icky gooey womb a woozy youth dopes upon her silky smooth perfume." Nice use of assonance but man is this weird. Two showers at least maybe three to make sure the stench has worn off enough. Don't misunderstand me it's great when an artist of any genre plumbs the dictionary for new concepts and bold choices. I didn't know there was such a thing as a "summer smile". I have a notion that's a pretty warm affectation. "Gooey" itself is neither hot nor cold. Tepid fits fine. Tepid like bath water you've inched your way into supposedly to alleviate your hemorrhoid problems. Not that this market deserves slighting. "Gooey" feels frothy. Not a recipe for continued success. I don't have any problems with gooey the adjective. If I'm eating a sandwich or a Rice Krispies treat I'm a happy man when it's sent my direction like that. For a newbie rock act parameters need to be set. "Gooey" is not tethered to solid ground enough for any of us to glean what their parameters are. It would help their career prospects if they dropped the enigma label post haste. Surely there's a defined sound behind the mask.